Both Sides of the Story

A story may indeed have more than two sides, so talking about "balanced" coverage doesn't get off to a great start. Probably everyone feels uncomfortable when they or some close concern of theirs is described unfairly. It isn't obvious that objectivity fixes all those issues. How could it? Don't expect a consensus on a neutral position for some historical issues, even a century on.

All that said, there is a big difference between writing that is conscientious in representing both sides, and writing by someone who really doesn't care, a propagandist or promoter, or a "hired gun" for some point of view.

The topics in this chapter are

• But, however
• Tone
• One-sided presentation
• Slant

Allow one hour to study it.

But, however …

Here is an area of writing that constantly gives problems. It is not immediately obvious why, but it requires more explanation than any other writing topic in this manual.

“But” is an argumentative word, and it is often avoided for that reason. It is a very good reason, in fact: for us, here and now, argumentative writing is unhelpful. It is also unhelpful to replace “but” by “however”, though, if the argumentative tone or connotation persists. It is a common rule not to begin a paragraph with “But”, even if the Bible and Tolkien do just that. Whatever the merit of the rule, starting a sentence with “However” is not really changing anything, if you still mean “But”.

After a while, you may see that “however” is a blunt instrument. If you try to use it as a conjunction, it is not really suited. "But" actually is a conjunction. Think about it. “Alice had a sandwich, however Bob had an ice cream.” is a construction usually taken to be colloquial. Here “Alice had a sandwich, but Bob had an ice cream.” is fine: swapping in “however” for “but” is a solecism, i.e. deprecated from the point of view of good English, to be avoided.

There are quite a number of good constructions that can do the work. There is “although”, with its variants “though”, and “albeit”, which is really only properly used in a phrase that has no verb. There are “despite” and “regardless, “even if” and “even though” and “even so”. “Nevertheless” … The list goes on. But recall what was said in the Introduction: fine writing is typically not needed.

Example

Oxygen is a requirement of most life on earth today, however; for early life on earth oxygen was not only scarce it was also toxic.

[From Great Oxidation Event]

Proposed solution

Although oxygen is now a requirement from most life, for the early life on earth oxygen was not only scarce, it was also toxic.

Further discussion

“However” at the start of the sentence is properly used in place of the lengthy and probably obsolete “Howsoever that may be”, referring back to the previous discussion. A “Whatever” phrase is a similar construction. In the pair of sentences

“Alice had a sandwich. Bob, however, had an ice cream.”

we see the more writerly use of “however”. It is like “on the other hand”, and cannot be considered as arguing anything more than personal preference.

What is going on here? There is the concessive register: one “admits” A. This is usually the first part of an argument like “A but B”. It is argumentative if you mean B outweighs A. If you really mean “A but then again B”, in other words admitting A but qualifying it by B, then the way you express that thought should not appear so argumentative.

Encyclopedic writing needs to be fair-minded.

Example: the task is to rewrite the second paragraph only

Pagell and Wu (2009) identify two types of information sharing that are directly linked to sustainable supply chain management; traceability and transparency. They define traceability as “an internal practice of sharing information among chain members about materials and methods (toxins, use of child labor, type of solvents used and so on) to optimize noneconomic chain performance and minimize risks.” Transparency is a related activity where buyers demand “information on the flow of money through their entire chain. The key difference between traceability and transparency is that with transparency the buying firm is demanding to know the profitability of every supplier in the chain, with the explicit goal of ensuring that chain members at origins... made enough of a profit to do more than just subsist.”

The initial intent of gathering this information, especially traceability is often risk reduction. However in the process of demanding, analysing and sharing the information collected as part of efforts to increase transparency and traceability supply chains gain increased knowledge about how processes are being done; knowledge which can be used to improve the chain as a whole.

[From Sustainable Operations]

Please work out your proposed solution for the example just given, before scrolling down further!

Proposed solution

An important byproduct of these types of information gathering and sharing is a better understanding of how a supply chain actually works. While traceability information, particularly, often relates to risk reduction, the whole chain may be improved once its operations have been clarified.

Tone

A good choice of encyclopedic tone could be described as “slightly understated”. Anything “clearly overstated” is going to be wrong, by quite a margin.

Example

Since her early days, Earhardt has possessed a natural tendency to lead from the front. Hence, it is not surprising that she won the much sought after Caroliniana Creed Award for her leadership qualities and clarity of thought.

[From Ainsley Earhardt]

Proposed solution

Earhardt tends to lead from the front, and was the recipient of a Carolinian Creed Award for her qualities.

Example

NASA calls the Webb “The Premier Observatory of the Next Decade” which will serve thousands of astronomers and cosmologists worldwide in a global study into the history of our universe, phase by phase. The ultimate goal of the Webb is to observe and study the most distant luminous glows from the very edge of the universe and study the formation of the first galaxies. Another exciting goal for the Webb is the direct imaging of exoplanets and novas along with increasing our understanding of the formation of planets and stars.

[From James Webb Space Telescope (JWST)]

Please work out your proposed solution for the example just given, before scrolling down further!

Proposed solution

The Webb project aims to catch the luminous glows from the edge of the universe. It will study the formation of the first galaxies. It will undertake the direct imaging of exoplanets and novas. NASA calls the Webb “The Premier Observatory of the Next Decade”.

One-sided presentation

Everyone knows something about balance in writing. What is most obvious is its absence. Some kinds of prose are just one-sided.

Example

Cryptocurrency expert, the co-founder $1.6 billion cryptocurrency brokerage and exchange Coinbase, and former Goldman Sachs trader Fred Ehrsam explained in an analytical column that centralized cryptocurrency exchanges are always vulnerable to security breaches and hacking attacks because the private keys of user wallets are held or stored by the platform operators.

[From 0x. While Ehrsam may be an authoritative figure in this field, the combination of a very long appositive intro, and the subsequent wording, seems to assume there is no other side to the story.]

Proposed solution

Fred Ehrsam wrote in a column that centralized cryptocurrency exchanges are always vulnerable to security breaches and hacking attacks. He is a cryptocurrency expert, was co-founder of the brokerage and exchange Coinbase, and was once a Goldman Sachs trader. His reasoning is that private keys of user wallets are held or stored by the platform operators.

Example

Within a relatively short period of two years, the ICO market evolved into a mature and well established industry, with third party service providers, consultancies, and blockchain projects raising billions of dollars in Ether annually.

In quarter 2 of 2017, ICOs raised a record $800 million within three months, surpassing the amount of capital raised by venture capital by over $560 million.[6] By the end of 2017, the ICO market is expected to bring in $3 billion,[7] an amount that is substantially and exponentially higher than the capital raised by the blockchain sector and bitcoin industry from venture capital firms, angel investors, and conglomerates in the finance industry.

ICOs raised $800 million from April to July, but in September, merely 37 ICOs raised nearly $850 million, surpassing the amount raised by hundreds of ICOs in a span of three months. In spite of the nationwide ban of ICOs imposed by China and South Korea, two major regions that account for a large share of the global cryptocurrency exchange market, ICOs are continuing to raise large sums of capital from individual investors within the cryptocurrency sector.

[From ERC20 Token Standard. This passage is clearly one-sided, given the very different coverage of the Initial Coin Offering market in other sources.]

Please work out your proposed solution for the example just given, before scrolling down further!

Proposed solution

Within two years, the ICO market attracted third party service providers and consultancies. Just the same, China and South Korea imposed national bans on ICOs. The year 2017 still saw the larger blockchain sector begin to raise more through ICOs than from venture capital, and then ICO money ramping up.[6][7]

Slant

It is the fate of some important rules that they are least likely to be followed in the cases where they are most significant. Everyone knows, in principle, that coverage of high-profile events and issues should be handled fairly, without slant.

Example

Newscasters are not allowed to talk about the hardships their citizens go through or the facts that much of the population lives in poverty.

[From North Korea]

Proposed solution

News coverage in North Korea is subject to censorship. Living standards and personal hardship are not mentioned.

Comment: Here the passive construction is applied to topics, not people. The second sentence is factual. That there is censorship is something that can be referenced. That newscasters are specifically instructed not to mention poverty would require a much tighter kind of referencing, and the slant appears in the form that the possibility is denied that the effect is caused by self-censorship in the media. What is said in the example is too casual.

Example

He grew Sun through a series of shrewd acquisitions, the biggest of which was the purchase of scandal-tainted rival Ranbaxy Laboratories for $4 billion in 2014.

His fortune has declined two years in a row as Sun's shares fell after the U.S. Food and Drug Administration observed manufacturing lapses at one of its biggest factories in India.

[From Dilip Shangvi. NB that the information here is too scanty to remove slant., and “shrewd” is colorful, but not an adjective that helps neutrality. (Why? Connotations such as "well-judged" for deals, but also "cunning".) Both “scandal-tainted” and “lapses” fail to give particulars. Some expansion really is needed, and so you should look online for more details.]

Please work out your proposed solution for the example just given, before scrolling down further!

Proposed solution

Shangvi grew Sun Pharmaceutical through a series of acquisitions. The largest, of Ranbaxy Laboratories in 2014 for $4 billion, occurred after Ranbaxy had suffered a reputational blow from the exposure of lax drug testing. In 2016 Sun itself had trouble after the U.S. Food and Drug Administration alleged problems at its Halol manufacturing plant. Its shares fell, as did Shangvi’s fortune.